So here’s the thing: I recanted on my commitment to showing some of my art each day, or at least something I saw or felt, which all works its way into your art in one way or another.
But then I felt overloaded, maybe a bit panicked. What had I gotten myself into? I ratcheted my commitment down a few notches Quite a few. Once a week I would post, I said.
BUT I now renege what I recanted. Why? Because I realize my backing down had more to do with having missed the point of my original intention than it did with my ability to post every day. In one short week I was already trying to turn each day’s page into a work of art instead of providing a snapshot of what I was doing that day.
I want to be spontaneous about this, but it is SO hard to share what is half baked, partially done. Was I not always told “Do your best”? And did I not learn to hide my worst, cover it up, keep it from view? Not to mention displaying what is mediocre–is that not shameful?
I have accepted that I must learn to reveal my process, share what I hear the Muse whispering or shouting, let my mistakes be visible, as well as my “triumphs.” I want to learn to be more transparent. To show where the things I make come from. I have accepted all this, but must practice how to demonstrate it.
Therefore I write this. Is it embarrassing? Yes. Earth shattering? Hardly. But I see it as a path to freedom.